Cody and the Chocolate Factory
by RedEyedWarrior
Summary: Cody Anderson is a poor, starving boy who lives with his family. However, his life changes drastically one day after buying himself a bar of chocolate. Loosely based off of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... only more twisted...
1. Chapter 1

**This is a parody off of my favourite childhood movie, and one of the best children's books in the world. Obviously, it has some of my very own twisted moments thrown in. This is made for Halloween. I know it's not scary, but most of my fics are scary, and this fic is about sweets, much like Halloween.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own **_**Total Drama**_**. Neither do I own **_**Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**_**. They belong to their own respective owners. I am making no profit whatsoever from writing this fic.**

* * *

Cody Anderson was a poor thirteen-year-old boy living in Canada. He lived in a small, derelict house somewhere in Canada with his family. He lived with his parents Mike and Zoey Anderson, his paternal grandparents Geoff and Bridgette Anderson and his maternal grandparents Blaineley and Izzy O'Halloran. Cody's family was very poor; Mike worked at a toothpaste factory run by a boss who was cheap so the family only had enough money to barely feed themselves. Cody was the poorest kid in his school. Every day he would see his peers pigging out on sweets and showing off smartphones while Cody only had one bar of chocolate a year for his birthday and his phone was a basic Nokia 3310… which was the only reason he was never bullied in school once he got that phone…

Regardless, Cody was still a kind, sweet boy with a big heart. He was also one of the sanest people in his town. Despite the fact that there is a factory in his town that is testing the boy's sanity. You see, Cody loves sweets, but his family could only afford to give him one bar a year. However, that factory was the most famous chocolate factory in all of Canada, called McLean's Chocolate Factory, run by none other than Chris McLean himself. You could smell the chocolate coming out of the fumes from within a five mile radius. The smell was so good, but it was teasing Cody to no end.

Little did Cody realise at the time that he was the luckiest boy in the entire world. It all started one day when Mike returned home from work. Zoey was at one end of the room cooking the dinner and Cody was at the table finishing his homework. At the other end of the room there was a big bed where the bedridden Geoff, Bridgette, Blaineley and Izzy laid.

"Evening guys," said Mike.

"Evening," everyone else replied in unison.

After kissing his wife and hanging up his coat, Mike sat opposite Cody at the table and said: "Cody, I – or Manitoba Smith, to be precise – found this piece at the factory." He handed Cody a small white piece. Cody smiled.

"This is exactly what I needed," Cody beamed.

"What's that for?" Bridgette curiously asked.

"Chris McLean's head for my sculpture," Cody happily replied, adding the last piece to his McLean's Chocolate Factory model, made from pieces of toothpaste caps.

Geoff sat up on his side of the bed. "Ah, Chris McLean," he beamed. "I used to work for him, Cody."

Cody's ears pricked up. "Really?" he asked, intrigued, sitting on the bed next to Geoff.

"Really," said Geoff. "The dude's business started off small in Second Street. I was one of his first employees. He is a magician when it comes to candy. He made ice-cream that could go on for hours on a sunny day without going runny, chewing gum that never loses its flavour and tiny eggs that turn into birds in the mouth; birds who crap out chocolate poop."

"Wow," said Cody. "That must've been awesome."

"It was," Geoff fist-bumped his grandson. "Eventually, Chris's business grew so big he purchased a factory nearby that was fifty times bigger than yer average chocolate factory. His chocolate eventually came the most popular in all of Canada."

"Dad, why don't you tell Cody about that crazy businessman from India?" Mike suggested.

"Oh yeah," Geoff laughed. "It all began when Chris received an email from this guy called Noah, requesting he'd build a mansion made entirely out of chocolate. The building blocks were made of chocolate, and the cement was made from hot chocolate. Even the furniture, kitchen appliances and bathroom appliances were made from chocolate. The mansion even received chocolate Wi-Fi signals."

"Chocolate Wi-Fi signals?" Cody gasped in disbelief. "But that's impossible."

"Not for Chris," Geoff shrugged. "I know it's disturbing, but it happened. Anyway…"

_When the factory was complete, Noah walked around his chocolate made office and droned: "It's good enough."_

"_It won't last long," said Chris. "You'd better start eating it right away."_

"_Screw that," Noah shrugged. "I'll sleep in it; bathe in it, work in it, eat in it, jerk off in it… I'll LIVE in it."_

"However, Chris was right," said Geoff. "One day during a heat wave…"

_One hot day in the middle of the dry season, Noah was watching porn on his laptop when a blob of chocolate plopped on the keyboard. Noah looked up to see that the ceiling was melting. Noah cursed under his breathe and ran with the laptop in his arms, narrowly avoiding being crushed under dollops of chocolate in the process. He made it out of the mansion just before it collapsed into a pool of chocolate. Noah checked his laptop to see if it was still working, but it wasn't because the chocolate seeped into the components of the laptop. Noah roared in anger._

"Noah sent a threatening email telling Chris that one day he was going to find Chris and kill him in his sleep, but Chris said in a reply that the house should've been built in Finland instead, like he suggested, and that it was not his problem," Geoff continued. "Besides, Chris had plenty of problems of his own. Some of Chris's rival companies became jealous and hired spies to pass off as workers and steal some of Chris's secret recipes for the said companies. Soon enough, many companies were making ice-cream that will never melt, sugar balloons that would grow into incredible sizes and basic-looking chocolate bars that trigger full-blown orgasms. Eventually, Chris's recipes were no longer unique. He was slowly losing market share. One day, he decided to throw in the towel."

"_I am closing the factory forever," Chris stated before a large crowd standing right before the gates of the factory. "I'm sorry." The gates fell shut before the crowd as Chris slowly retreated into the factory, never to be seen in public again._

"But it didn't close forever," Cody protested. "It's open right now."

"Yes but Cody, sometimes when adults say forever, they really mean a very long time," said Zoey, passing around the bowls of cabbage soup.

"Anyway, three years later, there was smoke coming out of the chimneys," Geoff continued. "Trucks were leaving the factory with boxes and boxes of candy. McLean's Chocolate Family was back in business. The candy was better than ever. No one could find a way to send in spies… they never left the factory alive," Geoff chuckled.

"Has anyone been in that factory?" Cody asked.

"No, little dude," Geoff sadly replied. "Chris has never left the factory in fifteen years. The only thing that has left the factory is the candy, packaged and addressed."

"But who works there then?" Cody asked.

"Nobody knows," Geoff shrugged. "All the people that work there pretty much live there for some strange reason."

"Must be a hostage situation!" Izzy chirped. "Izzy would've confined her employees to her factory for all eternity if she had one! Too bad the government stood in the way since cannibalism and slavery is illegal," she signed. Blaineley shook her head at her wife's Izzy-ness.

"Well, we don't know what's going on there, but I hope it's not what Izzy said," said Geoff. "But I would give anything in the world besides you dudes and dudettes just to visit this factory for just one day to see what is going on in there."

"Well you can't," Blaineley stated. "It's a mystery. It will always be a mystery. Your sculpture over there, Cody, is the closest thing we're ever going to get to visiting that factory," she added, pointing at Cody's factory. She's always been the pessimistic member of the family, but her family still loved her.

"Well it's bed time," said Mike, looking over at the clock.

"'Night Dad, 'night Mom," said Cody, hugging them.

"'Night Cody," said Mike, returning the hug.

"'Night Cody," said Zoey, returning the hug.

"'Night Grandpa Geoff," said Cody, hugging Geoff.

"'Night little dude," said Geoff.

"'Night Grandma Bridgette."

"'Night Cody."

"'Night Grandma Blaineley."

"'Night Cody."

"'Night Grandma Izzy."

"'Nothing's impossible Cody," Izzy assured her grandson. "There's always the chance that you can become the fascist dictator of Canada after ousting the government in a coup." After the hugs were exchanged, Cody climbed up the folding attic starts to the attic where his mattress was. Cody said one final good night before lying down. The lights from downstairs, which dimly lit the attic through a hole in the floor which Cody takes special care to avoid, went out. The only source of light was the moon, which shined through the broken window over the hole.

Meanwhile, at McLean's Chocolate Factory, the gates opened. Squad bikes left the gates; driven by unknown figures in helmets. The figures parked at many poles and pinned a notice on each pole they came across. Shortly before dawn, the figures and their bikes retreated back to the factory. Notices have already been posted to other cities across Canada. It won't be long before the public finds out about the news.

* * *

**So there you have it, the start of a less sane version of **_**Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**_**. Mostly because Izzy is in it… and I am writing it. Anyway, I have most of the characters planned out, some of which you would never expect. Try not to jinx it, but if you feel the need to make your guess, go right on ahead. Most of us have seen the movie(s)/read the book but the ending may not be what you were expecting it to be… so yeah… get ready for a whole 'nother level of crazy.**

**Until next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I was going to hold off and publish it on Writing Spree Day, which is tomorrow. But I thought "fuck it, I'll have plenty of updates to do tomorrow, why not update now?" So I updated today. Besides, it's probably Saturday in New Zealand by now, so why not be the first to start off the occasion?**

* * *

The next day the news was focused all on one topic. That evening, the TV was turned on as soon as Mike returned.

"Good evening; you're watching the six o'clock news with Josh!" said Josh. "For the first time in fifteen years, someone would be able to visit Chris McLean's Chocolate Factory! According to posters and notices spread throughout Canada, Chris is allowing five lucky children to visit his factory. The following extract is from the notices he has put up:

"_I, Chris McLean, have hidden golden tickets in five McLean Bars that were selected entirely at random! That's right! Five lucky children from all over Canada will get a chance to visit my factory for just one day! Details are described on the inside of the chocolate bar wrappers! Further details will be printed on the tickets – assuming you've found one, that is! Heh! So what are you waiting for?! Go on and buy as many bars as you can! See if you can get lucky!"_

"Oh, this reminds me of my favourite song," Josh chirped, playing _Get Lucky_ from his phone. Before he could continue, Blaineley snatched the remote out of Mike's hand and switched off the telly.

"Sorry, but that song is overrated," said Blaineley, rolling her eyes.

"But Izzy thought you liked that song," said Izzy.

"True, but everything the idiot on the telly likes turns into something I hate," Blaineley replied.

"That's why Izzy used to beat him up all the time while she still had the energy," Izzy chirped. Zoey rolled her eyes at her mother's craziness.

"Surely that song must be over by now," she contributed.

"That guy may be too full of himself to notice the sudden drop in ratings," Blaineley commented. "Besides, the majority of his demographics are morons anyway. As soon as we can afford a better cable connection I'll definitely be watching the other news channels… except for _Fox News_ of course."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys!" Geoff interjected. "Do ye dudes realise what's just happened here?!"

"Josh took something that was good and turned it into something bad again?" Bridgette rolled her eyes.

"Don't let him dictate what ya dudettes like," Geoff rolled his eyes. "But what's really important is that there's a chance to see McLean's factory!" He turned to Cody and asked: "Cody dude, wouldn't that be rad if you opened a McLean Bar and found a golden ticket inside?"

Cody got excited. "Of course it would! Too bad I can only have one bar a year, and for my birthday," he frowned.

"Well it's your birthday next week," said Mike, brightly, getting up to do the dishes.

"So does that mean I'll have a chance?" Cody asked.

"Everyone has a chance Cody," Bridgette assured her grandson.

"But there **is** one guarantee," Blaineley smirked. "The first person to find that ticket will be so obese it will amaze the world how he or she is still alive."

* * *

News of McLean's golden tickets spread across the globe (popularity of McLean brand sweets was not confined to Canada). Everyone assumed that the whole world had a chance of finding a ticket. After all, Chris is Canadian, and nobody would believe Chris to be a racist for that reason thanks to propaganda about the Canadian people created by the Canadian government to encourage tourism and to explain why many tourists never came back. Many countries such as Ireland, the US, the UK, Australia, the Philippines, Japan, the Nordic Countries and pretty much every other country in the world descended into anarchy in a tense battle to grab the golden tickets. The exact same thing happened in Canada, but at least it wasn't in vain there.

Blaineley was right. The first ticketholder brought a whole new definition to the word _obese_. Standing in the kitchen somewhere in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan with his mother Staci Gloop and father Beverly Gloop was a 16-year-old boy named Owen Gloop. In front of Owen was a table supporting a ton of meat that Owen was munching on greedily.

"So Owen? Tell us how did you find the golden ticket?" Sierra, one of the reporters asked.

"I was eating a McLean Bar once when all of a sudden I coughed out a golden ticket," Owen happily replied.

"So how did you celebrate?" Sierra asked.

"I eat more candy," Owen shrugged, withdrawing a large pot of molten McLean Cooking Chocolate and pouring it over the rest of the meat before devouring.

"Ya, we knew our son Owen would be the first to win," Staci bragged. "My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-gr eat-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grea t-great-great-great-great-great grandfather invented winning. Before that, everybody lost. How sad?"

The Anderson-O'Halloran family were watching this on the telly back in their house. None of them looked too happy about what they saw.

"Told ya," Blaineley shrugged.

"What a revolting women," Bridgette rolled her eyes. "I hope her son doesn't end up believing her lies."

"I wouldn't get my hopes up," Blaineley advised.

"The father hasn't uttered a word at all," Mike commented. "Is he camera shy?"

"Maybe," Izzy chirped. "Maybe his wife did something to him that caused him to be permanently mute."

"Right," said Mike. Then he gasped and became Chester.

"Back in my day, we had no candy!" Chester moped. "We had only horse meat!"

"Whoa, son, I've been here longer than you, and I can tell you we had no horse meat," said Geoff cautiously.

"I think Owen was eating horse meat," said Cody.

"Well that's enough telly for you young man," said Zoey, turning off the telly.

* * *

A few days later, another ticket was found. Standing in the great sitting room of a mansion situated on the outskirts of Victoria, British Columbia, was the founder. Her name was Eva Burromuerto. She was accompanied by her parents Alejandro and Heather Burromuerto. Eva held the ticket in her hand, smiling at the cameras.

"We knew our Eva was going to find the ticket," said Alejandro. "As soon as the news about McLean's golden tickets came out, I instructed all the employees at my nut factory to shell McLean bars instead of nuts. The process somehow took longer than we anticipated, however. Our precious Eva grew more and more upset by the day…"

_Alejandro and Heather were sitting in Alejandro's office in the factory, calmly watching their daughter as she savagely beat a hapless employee._

"_DADDY, YOU SAID I WOULD HAVE THE FIRST GOLDEN TICKET!" Eva screamed, bending her victim's leg at the knee in the wrong way. "BUT NOW SOME GREEDY PIECE OF SHIT TWO PROVINCES AWAY ALREADY HAS ONE NOW! YOU LIED TO ME! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!"_

"_Mi__querida__novia__, I do!" Alejandro calmly protested._

"_BULLSHIT! I'LL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!" Eva shouted, ripping the employee's arm off and beating her over the head with it._

"_Don't worry sweetie, Mommy's got it covered," Heather assured her daughter. She marched over to the window that overlooked the factory and opened it. She stuck her head out._

"_HURRY THE FUCK UP! WHAT'S TAKING YOU LAZY DOUCHEBAGS SO LONG?!" Heather bellowed._

"_They're not listening," Eva grunted, ripping her victim's head clean off. "They don't care about me because they have no empathy."_

"_I FOUND ONE! I FOUND ONE!" squealed someone from outside the office._

"_FINALLY!" Eva shouted, darting out of the office and downstairs into the work area. She grabbed the employee who found the golden ticket and – instead of thanking her – snapped the ticket out of her hands and shoved the unfortunate employee into the furnace that was (in)-conveniently placed nearby._

_Heather and Alejandro watched this from above. Heather withdrew some marijuana and began rolling it up. Alejandro did the same._

"_Happiness is the most important quality of a child," a relieved Heather smiled at her husband, "happiness."_

"_Agreed, __mi amor__," Alejandro replied, before inhaling._

"So Eva? How did you celebrate?" asked Sierra, the reporter.

"Daddy bought me another set of weights," Eva proudly replied.

The Anderson-O'Halloran family were watching this in disgust once again.

"Spoilt brat," Vito sneered. He took over Mike's body during the news segment.

"I don't think that was fair," Cody protested. "She didn't even find it herself. Plus she's killed two people," he added.

"Don't worry about it Cody," Geoff assured his grandson. "That dude spoils his daughter, and nothing good ever comes from spoiling a child like that."

* * *

"Happy birthday Cody!" cheered Grandma Blaineley.

"Happy birthday Cody!" cheered Grandma Bridgette.

"Happy birthday Cody!" cheered Grandma Izzy.

"Happy birthday Cody!" cheered Zoey.

"Happy birthday Cody!" cheered Mike.

"Happy birthday Cody!" cheered Grandpa Geoff.

"Thanks guys," beamed Cody.

Zoey handed Cody the bar and kissed him on the forehead. "Here you go, sweetie."

Cody held the bar in his hands as he sat on the centre of the bed. It was a milk chocolate, 14-piece bar. Cody took his time unwrapping the present. He hesitated.

"Maybe I should open the bar tomorrow," Cody suggested.

"Altogether we are 381 years old, we don't wait," said Geoff.

"Good point," said Cody, continuing unwrapping the present.

"Now Cody," said Zoey, "please don't be disappointed if… you know…"

"Whatever happens, you'll still have the candy," Mike assured his son.

Cody nodded and continued unwrapping. Removing the decorative gift-wrapping, the bar revealed itself to the family. Slowly, carefully, Cody removed the outer wrapper of the bar. With that out of the way, all of the plausible scenarios were going through the boy's mind. As Cody peeled away the silver foil, everyone grew more and more anxious.

Finally, Cody grabbed the foil and ripped it from the bar.

The moment of truth had arrived.

There was no golden ticket.

Everyone in the room looked at the bar in shock and disappointment. They had so much hopes for a golden ticket inside, because that golden ticket was their ticket out of poverty.

"Oh well," Geoff sighed, "that's that."

"I'll share it," said Cody, quickly.

"But it's your birthday present," Mike protested.

"It's my present," Cody insisted. "I'll do what I want with it." He broke the bar into seven equal pieces and distributed them among everyone in the family. Everyone thanked Cody in whispers before eating the pieces. They ate very slowly. This may be the last time they'd eat sweets for another year. Even Izzy ate slowly. Mike further divided his share of the bar into six further pieces, to represent all of his personalities and himself having a bit.

To say they were disappointed that they won't be getting any more food would be an understatement. However, on the bright side, Cody did not put up much of a fuss and shared his only chance of chocolate for the year with the whole family.

There was still hope that the poverty would end.

* * *

**So what did you guys think? Who knew Eva was going to fill in for Verruca Sault? I could've picked Heather instead and have Alejandro still be the rich dad. But as an AleHeather fan, that would lead to this fic being raised up to T so yeah… besides, I thought Eva would make the better candidate.**

**The show is going to have elements from both movie adaptions of the book. I loved both movies and I thought both should contribute. I've noticed that many people thought that **_**Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory**_** was bad, but I liked it. Still, I prefer **_**Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**_**, mostly because it had more elements of a fantasy movie, a genre which I am quickly growing to like.**

**I am also writing the characters as if they are still teenagers, because that's just how messed up I am. I'll Cover Angel and Collins and Torie Rilistkrytcat are writing their AleHeather fic in a twisted way that will put my sordid thoughts to shame. Well the way I am thinking up this fic, I might stop them from beating me in the twisted department.**

**I have the next two or three chapters planned out in my mind already, but the third one won't be out until maybe a few weeks. We'll see.**

**Until next time!**


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